Coming out about your true sexuality or gender identity is a big step. You may be excited to finally be honest with those around you, but also a bit apprehensive as to how your friends and family members will react. You may not be sure how coming out will change your work life, personal life, and family life. One way to make this transition easier on yourself will be to consult with a sex-positive therapist for a month or two before you officially come out.
Here are a few benefits of this approach:
1. You will become more solid in your ideas of yourself.
Maybe you have talked to one or two people about your sexual identity or preferences, but since you have been "in the closet" this is not a conversation you've had often. As such, you might still be sorting some things out about yourself and how you feel. It's hard to know all this without talking to others about it. You can talk through your preferences and feelings with your therapist without worrying about being judged, which will allow you to solidify how you really do feel before you have to share those thoughts with other people in your life.
2. You'll be able to practice responses.
Not everyone who you come out to is going to react positively. You will want to have some comebacks prepared so you know how to respond to the negative folks. Your therapist can go over some common responses with you so you feel prepared when people do make less-than-nice comments and remarks.
3. You'll learn strategies to deal with negative feelings.
When people do not respond well to you coming out, you may deal with some feelings of mistrust, worthlessness, and anxiety. Your therapist can help you develop strategies for dealing with these feelings. They can show you exercises to elevate your mood, reframe negative thoughts, and improve your feelings of self-worth so that this time in your life is not as emotionally hard for you.
4. You'll learn some relationship tips.
Coming out may change some of your relationships with family members and friends. Your therapist can give you some tips for maintaining and rebuilding these relationships. Many people fear losing their relationships when they come out, but there are ways to preserve them by saying the right things and listening properly.
Coming out can be hard, but a few sessions with a sex-positive therapist can help make it easier.
