Marriage counseling is designed to help couples fix the problems they have so they can continue moving forward in the marriage. While counseling can be an effective solution for marital problems, a lot of couples wait too long before they seek help. Marriage counseling will be more effective for you and your spouse if you seek help quickly. Here are three reasons you should not wait too long before seeking counseling services.
Resentment Builds
Resentment is a feeling, thought, or attitude a person has towards someone else, and it is something that can be very destructive in a marriage. Spouses can feel resentment towards each other for many reasons, but a common one is when one spouse is never willing to sit and discuss a big issue in marriage. When this happens, the spouse that has the issue may feel unimportant to the other, and this is a perfect example of how resentment forms. Resentment is not usually something that goes away on its own, and the longer one spouse ignores the issue, the more resentment the other spouse may develop.
Emotional Detachment Begins
A second problem of waiting too long to seek counseling is the potential for each spouse to feel emotionally detached from the other. Intimacy, both physically and emotionally, is vital for a successful marriage. It is what keeps spouses close to one another, and it is what keeps drawing them back to the marriage to keep it alive and strong.
Without intimacy, spouses can easily become emotionally detached from each other and from the marriage. A good sign that often appears when a couple is becoming detached from each other is a lack of physical touch. The couple may stop hugging, touching, and kissing. Couples that are emotionally detached may also develop communication issues. They may begin snapping at the other more frequently, and the fights may become more frequent. They may stop spending time together, and they may even begin branching out into things they enjoy doing without each other.
Emotional detachment is extremely destructive for a marriage, because it often pushes spouses to the point where they no longer care about each other and the marriage. When a marriage reaches this point, it can be difficult for it to work, even with counseling.
Bigger Problems Are Harder to Solve
The bottom line is that resentment and a lack of emotional attachment in a marriage can lead to major problems. When both of these factors are present, little problems will often escalate into big problems, and this just leads to further resentment and emotional detachment.
Solving problems in marriage is easier to do when the problems are small and current. It is also easier when both spouses are willing to negotiate and compromise, but this is not typically the case with a marriage that contains a lot of resentment. The problems you have in your marriage will not go away unless they are addressed, and they are more likely to get resolved when they are addressed quickly.
Couples that wait too long to seek counseling may have dozens of really big issues to talk about and fix, and this will take time. Counseling cannot solve problems like these overnight, but it can be effective if both spouses:
- want the marriage to work
- are willing to be agreeable
- will compromise
- want to put effort into the marriage
If you are experiencing problems in your marriage that you cannot seem to resolve with your spouse, it might be a good idea to look for a marriage counselor. By focusing on solutions to the small problems you have, you could prevent major ones from forming, and this could help you prevent a divorce. To learn more, contact services like Associates For Counseling & Psychotherapy.
